It’s happened. My relationship with Sir has passed the honeymoon stage. This thought terrified me weeks ago.
We discussed it last weekend, and noticed that things have calmed down. There is less desperate urgency to everything we do. The passion hasn’t diminished, but I can tell we both have realized this relationship is real and it isn’t going anywhere. We have time.
Its a very surreal feeling, to know you’ve reached a threshold- especially one that previously had you terrified of it being a make or break point in your relationship. Is it real? Is it long term? Is it sustainable?
I don’t know about anyone else, but going through a separation and impending divorce at the same time as a blossoming relationship is very… well, intense. And even though I did not leave my wife for Him, I still deal with the occasional side eye for “already” having moved on. But these aren’t poly-friendly people so… whatever.
Anyway, Sir and I spend a fair amount of time just talking. Ok, more than fair. But we’re crossing this threshold together. It may seem trivial, but being able to say what’s on my mind & what’s bothering me or exciting me…is incredible. I can’t say that my Soon to Be Ex was ever that open.
This is completely new to me. But it truly is the most incredible thing. I never want to feel like my voice doesn’t matter again. With Him, I am learning how to be me again.
But I’m also learning Him and this lifestyle too. It is … to be able to talk and ask questions about whatever, without being judged or mocked. I still fear it though. I still fear being rebuffed or put down. But I’m also able to tell Him when I feel that way.
So things are as serious as ever. Our connection as intense as ever. But feeling like we’re racing a clock is done. And because of that, things are also calm, stable, and fulfilling. So if that’s what comes when the honeymoon stage ends, then I’m gonna cherish those memories in my heart and embrace the now with open arms.