Silence in Servitude

Master and I have a unique dynamic. We’ve done our negotiations. (yes, we actually sat and shared lists!) We have a contract book listing soft and hard limits, but very few protocols even though we live this 24/7 and live together.

We have routines & rituals (my duties of making coffee/lunch, setting out His clothes, washing His back every shower, just to name a few) but the one thing we’ve always said was that we will do and appreciate these things as if it were the first time, and be present. And we both do a pretty good job of this. It helps keep us connected when life is throwing lemons or whatever.

Well, life is throwing all sorts of citrus. And I had a terrible day. I cried to Him. He held me and whispered in my ear.

“Shhhh, baby. I know just what to do. I’m going to have you serve me, high protocol. You won’t be able to think about anything else.”

A few months ago, I would have panicked because I don’t know all high protocol things. Not this time. I relaxed into Him, trusting Him to teach and guide me.

When the time came, I knelt in the only pose I know. He entered the room, and I heard Him smile.

“Good girl.”

He sat in His chair directly in front of me. He took off my day collar, and whispered, “go put this on your nightstand.”

When I returned to my pose, He put my slave collar and cuffs on me. I closed my eyes and internally recited my mantra. I am His. I am worthy. When finished, I rose to kiss Him. He held me and caressed me. I felt whole and utterly adored and loved.

I knelt again as He began speaking. He praised me and outlined His expectations of me. I wasn’t nervous, as I expected to be. Instead I was calm and focused.

“You will keep your eyes lowered, and your head beneath mine at all times. You will not speak unless spoken to, but you will respond to every command given to you. You will never turn your back to me; you will back out of the room or away from me with your head bowed. You will present anything to me on your knees, head bowed, object higher than your head. You will resume kneeling once your task is completed.”

I listened intently, noting everything He asked. Then He gave me a task. Pour Him a drink. The decanter is positioned in an area where I would have to be cautious of my head height compared to His sitting down & take care to not turn my back. But it was wonderful.

I focused entirely on my position in relation to Him and what I was doing for Him. I crawled back to Him, offering the glass on my open palms. He lifted my hands a little higher before lifting the glass. I didn’t move.

This earned me a “good girl” and I was beaming inside. He placed the glass back on my hands. I waited. He took the glass again and I returned to my pose.

I have no idea how long He let me kneel, but it was one of the most peaceful moments of my life. The only thoughts I had were of my discomfort, quickly squashed by my desire to please Him.

As usual, He knows when my body is beginning to struggle. “On all fours, in front of me. I need a foot stool.”

I was absolutely elated. First because my back and knees wanted a break, but because this is something I’ve asked for. And it was every bit as decadent as I imagined it would be. Again my only focus was Him, and maintaining my position.

It grew difficult after a while. I know this had been meant to tax me physically but in a different way than our usual play. Successful, I remember thinking.

After He lifted His feet, He helped me up. At this point I was physically tired and my brain so quiet it felt like someone pressed a mute button. As we snuggled close, vaping and sharing our thoughts on the scene, I felt infinitely calmer but so connected to Him.

We’ve determined that while it is taxing for both of us, we will definitely be revisiting high protocol.

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