In an instant…

It was my birthday. July 22nd. I answered a message on OkCupid from a guy who identified as everything I ever wanted in a partner. (Too good to be true!) (Shut up!)

After a day or two of heated, deep yet light chatting via text, I was convinced that I was going to be super disappointed. Like this guy was seriously too good to be true. Kinky, Dominant, Sadistic (He gave examples…) but also sensual, romantic (wtf!), and funny. So there has to be *something*, my brain insisted. But try as I may, I couldn’t find it. Then He suggested talking on the phone before our scheduled meet up on Thursday of that week. I was terrified.

I can’t really explain, but the thing is, I have never been 100% comfortable on the phone. Awkward silence, having to verbalize my thoughts literally made me shake with anxiety. Somehow I managed the strength to talk to Him on the phone. It was uncanny how quickly He put me at ease. We laughed, shared stories, talked about our jobs, and ended up staying on the phone for 4 hours while we worked. And since we were working, yeah, some of it was just air, but it wasn’t uncomfortable! We have talked on the phone every day since then, except the days we’ve been together. And it’s still comforting to have Him on the other end of the phone.

Finally, it was Thursday. It was the day we would finally meet in person. The chemistry over the phone was intoxicating. I was being noticed. I was being heard. So I wasn’t as nervous as I normally I would be. I remember driving through town and being more anxious about finding a parking spot near the bar where the munch was being held. I hit the jackpot of parking spots AND got there after the meters turn off for the night. (Winning, considering I had no change on me.) I was wearing a knee length black and white striped skirt, strappy sandals, cheeky lace panties (I had teased Him, asking what He’d do if I showed up in a skirt with no panties… His answer and the state of my then marriage prompted me to be a good girl.), and a purple sleeveless deep v-neck top. I wish I’d taken a picture of myself that night. I felt so sexy… My hair and makeup were on point, and I had butterflies.

I texted Him that I arrived and parked. He replied that He’d meet me outside, but I didn’t get that message because I put my phone back in my purse. So I walked into this tiny bar. Everyone turned and looked at me, the bartender said “hello!”, and I froze. I didn’t see Him. Then I remembered they were outside, so I asked where to go to get outside, and began following a server. In the small doorway between the main bar and the hallway leading to the outdoor patio, it happened. In an instant, my world began to shift and I didn’t even realize it.

The fuse on our physical chemistry ignited. I rushed into His arms and gave Him a hug. He smelled like soap and just… man. He wasn’t doused in cologne, or wearing a button down shirt like all the headless doms on Twitter. He is very rarely a stereotypical anything. He held me for a moment, pulled back, smiled a gorgeous smile with His entire face, and said, “Yay!”

I have never felt someone buzzing with excitement to meet me on a first date/meet. It was ridiculously intoxicating. I stood there and stared so long, He had to urge me on. What happened next was an indicator of the instinctual dynamic between us. He turned and walked towards the outdoor patio. I followed a step or two behind Him and to the right. He opened the door and I stepped through, stopping just on the other side of the threshold. He walked past me, and I followed again.

When I sat down next to Him, I was so drawn to Him I couldn’t help touching Him every chance I got. His knee, His arm, His hands. I touched as much as I could without being lewd in public. He returned the gestures just as fervently. There were moments during that meet when I looked into His eyes, and the world around us just disappeared. It was intense and intoxicating. His stare burned right through me.  I was aroused and immediately felt the Dominance in Him calling to the submissive in me.

I could tell you all the intimate details of the rest of the night, but I would be here typing for a week, so that will be another time. Suffice it to say, the entire evening was plucked out of the last BDSM romance novel I read. And that is not an exaggeration. 🙂

All of that, to say this… I love you Zehguul. I knew that day my life had changed irrevocably. I love the life we are building together. The last 3 months have been a combination of hurricane force stress and the calmest seas I’ve ever experienced, but I am glad it’s you, and I’m glad you’re the source of my calm. Here’s to many more months as your kitty, your submissive, your masochist, and your girlfriend. ❤





I had so much fun last night. It was so awesome to get out and just be near friends.

Since it was a vanilla outing, we dropped the verbal and outward (obvious) dynamic stuff. But it didn’t change anything – it was still there.

Every time Sir touched me, or whispered in my ear, my body hummed with energy. And when we locked eyes, the room disappeared. It’s intense with Him. Everything is intense.

One thing Sir did say was that I should keep my walking position. I failed at that pretty badly. 😕

You see, I’m a big girl. I’m 6’3”. And in bars, I’m used to forging a path between drunk people and everyone else I’m with following in my wake.

Imagine my *gasp* when I got to our table and saw Sir standing at the door smirking at me for leaving Him there. But it was done…

(Several minutes after the first time I left him at the door)

Him: I am glad to see you out and smiling and laughing.

me: thank you, Sir. I’m sorry for not waiting for you.

Him: Is it worth the spanking you’re gonna get later?

me: *nods enthusiastically*


I wish I could put into beautiful words the way it feels when he looks at me or touches me in public. I stand out in a crowd, but mostly for the wow factor. But when He looks at me, I know He sees ME. And that’s intoxicating.


Later at home, after me spending some time enjoying His cock in my mouth, Sir caned me with a steel rod for my lack of manners. Then He fucked my mouth, my pussy, and my ass.

He’s so far in my mind and body, that sometimes all it takes is a little physical stimulation and His voice in my ear saying “Fucking cum, you little slut,” before I’m cumming like crazy. (I look forward to seeing how far this connection can go – will He eventually be able to say it without touching me, and still make me cum? I hope so.)

We have an infinite world of kink and connection to explore. And I’m not rushing through or missing any part of this.

This… This is living. This is being seen, desired, and fulfilled.