a glimpse of energy transference

I was sitting on the floor at his feet with my eyes closed. He was using our leather slapper on my face.


“Thank you, Sir.”

Smack, smack.

“Thank you, Sir,” softer this time.

Each hit landed with purpose, some harder than before. And every subsequent “Thank you, Sir” became more breathless. I felt tension in my body, spooling up to orgasm potential. I felt the sting of each slap and the corresponding surge of tingles in my clit.

I also could not. stop. smiling.

The scene wasn’t a heavy one, per se. But it wasn’t very light either. I was in subspace, but the energy I felt was almost giddy. It didn’t exactly match to my own feelings.

I was euphoric, but now I was euphoric and giggling, which usually means a very Sadistic turn of events. Desperate to see where things were heading, I opened my eyes to look at Him.

He was trying, and failing, to conceal a smile as He continued slapping my face. They came a bit harder, with more sting, but the giggles still persisted.

“Why are you smiling?!” I asked incredulously.

Then I burst into fits of giggles again.

As an empath, I have days when I loathe feeling other people’s energy and emotions. The general public can be very negative. But moments like these, when we’re so in tune with each other, that I feel His excitement and barely contained primal energy, make it a worth while trait to have.

《《Cross posted to Fetlife 》》


It started out with a kiss…

He held her throat as He kissed her. Not really kissing even, He was blatantly making out with her face. He controlled everything. He held her lips between His teeth and His hand was wrapped around her throat. She sank into His grip, unable to maintain the strength needed to remain upright.

“Whose filthy little whore are you?” He relaxed His grip on her throat only enough for her to speak.

She gasped in a breath, her voice coming out in a whisper. “I’m Your filthy little whore.”

“Yes, you are.” He said, a smile in His voice.

She jerked her head to look down. His cock was the longest and hardest she’d ever seen it. She licked her lips.

“You wanna suck it before you go to sleep? Yes, you do,” He crooned.

She nodded sleepily, eyes heavy but hot with desire, and moved to take Him in her mouth.

He held her head up by her throat and looked into her eyes. Then He spit on her face and growled, “You filthy little whore.”

He didn’t wait before pushing her head down to His cock. She opened her mouth and moaned at the taste of Him on her tongue. But the rest of her mouth was dry and she couldn’t make enough spit. Desperate, she shoved herself down on His cock.

“Yes,” He hissed, “That’s a good girl.”

He held still, allowing His cock to fill her mouth and throat. She finally gagged. She lifted her head and spit on His cock. She felt His surprise and His arousal intensify.

“Yes,” He groaned. He tightened His fist in her hair, and used her face to jack His cock. She relaxed her neck and allowed Him to control the speed and depth. Seconds passed by as she fully surrendered to Him, while simultaneously feeling the most powerful energy she’d ever experienced.

He moved her head faster, and as she tightened her lips around His cock, she felt the first pulses of His orgasm. She mewled her appreciation as He released her hair and relaxed His body, sinking back into the chair.

“Holy fuck,” He finally said, panting still. “I haven’t cum that fast from jacking myself off. That was the hottest, sexiest, nastiest blow job I’ve ever had.”

She couldn’t stop smiling. What greater compliment could a filthy little whore ask for?

Sub Drop # 3

On this edition of The Sub Drop… If you play publicly, be aware that something you do in your own bedroom may feel different in front of other people.

Last night we attended a new munch & play party. There were a couple familiar faces, which was nice, and we met a lot of new people too. And while a bunch of us were sitting in room chatting about face slapping, Sir reaches over and casually slaps my cheek 3 or 4 times to punctuate a statement.

My body did what it always does, stiffens and then relaxes. But my mind sort of short circuited.

He slapped me in front of other people for the first time. Casually. As though He does it all the time. I mean He does, but never in front of anyone.

Now you all know I’m an exhibitionist. But to me, a face slap is just… woah.

And to be honest, since I don’t have many local friends or acquaintances who are masochists, to not feel out of place with my kinks is still a new sensation.

But in that moment? Part of me was horrified that others could clearly see that objectification turned me on and another part was worried about making people uncomfortable. (Chronic people pleaser, I’m in recovery.)

Then, at the end of those 5 seconds (seriously, how complex is the human mind to run through all that in 5 seconds?), I gave in to the weight of the collar around my neck and trusted Him. I let myself bliss out in the feel of His slaps. In front of half a dozen people.

I regret nothing.

Sub Drop #2

No matter how excellent your communication skills are, sometimes you have miscommunications. And sometimes mistakes happen. One thing that is paramount to me as a submissive and as a bottom, is remembering that the Top/D-type is human.

Here’s an example…

Me: please, Sir, may I cum?!

Him: yes

Me:*super long orgasm*

Me: thank you, Sir


Him: I think you forgot a thank you in there.

Me: no, Sir. One long orgasm.

Him: oh baby! I’m sorry.


Him: just cuz you like it.

Me: *cums again*

So He slapped me for something I didn’t do. And He immediately apologized. But in that *pause* we shared a moment. We had a whole conversation without words.

It was okay. I knew it was an honest mistake. They happen! They happen even with the best communication and the best connections. Z and I read each other extremely well. 98% of the time.

We live this 24/7. So mistakes/miscommunications happen. But we deal with them immediately and keep on fucking. Literally.

Keep an open mind. Remember you and your partner make mistakes sometimes and this lifestyle is never without risk.

SubDrop #1

I confessed a fantasy to Z last night via text. It went something like this…

me: Daddy… I must confess the idea of you peeing on me… keeps popping into my mind… and I feel like such a dirty whore for it…

Z: It’s very degrading, but you *are* Daddy’s filthy little whore

me: *drooling emoji*

Z: Yeah.. that’s my dirty little girl

Now, I have never been a fan of the “golden shower”. But I did a lot of reflection before we did our contract. I couldn’t come up with any other reason that I didn’t like it, besides “ick”. So I marked it as a soft limit.

A few weeks ago, He threatened me with it while verbally degrading me. I was so turned on it and caught me by surprise. So I started thinking, if I can shower after… maybe.

The point of sharing this inner monologue with you is to remind you that you can always re-evaluate your limits. And don’t be shy about sharing it with your partner.

I cannot emphasize enough the importance of communication and a willingness to listen. Don’t be judgmental when listening to your partner’s thoughts either. Always keep an open mind and remember negotiations go both ways.

So Z and I will hopefully talk more about it this weekend. What limits have you reconsidered?

The Sadistic Burger: D/s Misfire

Sometimes, things in D/s don’t always go as planned. D-types and s-types are still human. Regardless of our kinks or side of the slash, we should be mindful of how we react and perceive things.

The following was an average weeknight…

Dinner was ready. One burger for each of us, to start. Then cook the second round.

I pulled out two buns, one for my plate, and one for His. He walked to my side, and I was fully aware of what was coming.

“Do you want your two burgers now?” I asked already begrudgingly.

“Yes.” He replied.

I sighed, moved both buns to His plate, and turned to walk out of the kitchen.

“Where are you going?” He asked holding out the plate.

I looked at Him. My face hot with humiliation, tears only held at bay by biting my cheek as I fixed His burgers.

Part of my brain was like, “no way man… that was too far.”

But the other part of my brain? Hah. I was getting off on my own humiliation and His power and cursing Him for it too.

He kissed me. Fingering my collar as He walked away.

Master first, in all things.

The way He had held and fingered the ring on my collar told me that He was simply reminding me of my role.

That could be the end of the story. It could have been the beginning of the end. I could have gone about my evening, over it, but also having filed it away as a mind fuck scene, and used our general affection as my aftercare & later harbored some resentment. But instead, I shared my perspective with Him. I told Him what I perceived, and how the scene affected me.

He read my blog draft.

“You should know, the only reason I took both my burgers first is because you said something. And you getting pissy about it is why you had to make my plate.”

My world spun.


I… made myself feel humiliated? How does that work?

1. How did He reprimand me for being pissy and I was clueless about it?

2. How and why did I create this elaborate “scene”?

From His perspective… He knew He could take both burgers. But He knew I needed the calories and wanted me to eat. At the same time, when I dangled it in front of Him, how could He turn it away?

When I huffed and then tried to walk away, I’d been insubordinate. That is a no-no in our dynamic, so He acted accordingly.

What followed was a long and intense recap of the way we both perceived that event.

I thought He was just being sadistic and a little bit of a jerk. (He wasn’t.)

He thought I was giving Him an attitude. (I was).

That is how I ended up being reprimanded, and not knowing it. It took several hours of off and on discussion before we figured out the hows and whys of that miscommunication and why I felt the need to create that scene for myself.

D/s relationships can be perceived abusive or unhealthy by people outside the kink world for good reason. Their perception is still valid even if it’s not the truth of the dynamic they are witnessing. Remember, they don’t see the constant communication that living this dynamic requires. Mostly because it is deeply intimate. But all the same, their perception is valid for them.

The same goes for your partner. I highly encourage conversation about your scenes with your partner. Preferably, as soon as possible afterwards. First, because you get to hear them say things like, “when you did that thing with your tongue, it drove me wild!” Who wouldn’t wanna hear that kind of praise?

But second, you can ask questions like, “what did you think and feel when I did this?” And this is where things can be difficult. During your discussions, focus your responses around “I statements”. But be honest and tell them how things felt, good or bad. Tell them how it felt mentally. Tell them about the knot in your chest. Tell them about the butterflies in your belly.

If the both of you can communicate on this level, and take the commentary for what it is (Discussion! Not criticizing!) you have the chance of a lifetime to grow and learn more about each other and your relationship. Communication is sexy!

Laughter, Blow jobs, and Humiliation – just a Friday night for ZehNah

Sir took His wife out for a date. I was so excited to see them going out together, and was just as excited to hang out with the boy for the evening. But when I heard the GTI pull in the driveway, I got that giddy excitement. My phone chimed.

“We’re home baby. Where are you?”

“Upstairs, Daddy.”

And at that moment, I decided I wanted to be waiting for Him on my knees. I scrambled to my pet bed, settled down on my knees, & bowed my head. My phone chimed again.

“L is coming toooo. I has …”

I cracked up laughing. These are moments that they don’t tell you about when you first consider a 24/7 lifestyle. Especially if you’re also in a polyamorous relationship. But because our little family is pretty tight, it wasn’t a disappointing moment. It was happiness. He was coming upstairs, and so was L, to hang out with ME. They could have easily gone to the shed to continue their evening. I was elated.

He came into the room just as I was pulling on my shorts and closed the door behind Him. I smiled.

“I’m glad you texted. I was not decently clothed.”

“I figured – and that’s why I did.”

He pulled me in for a kiss. (Aside: no one has ever *pulled* me in for a kiss…ever… god I love the way He handles my body.)

“Should I take off my ears and collar?”

He looked at me. He immediately understood I was asking to make sure that L wouldn’t be uncomfortable. In His Dom voice, calm and cool, He said “NO.”

I smiled as He reminded me that I can be myself around her. We spent the next hour or so together vaping, sharing stories, laughing, and just having a fun time. (This is happy poly. This is almost identical to my dream situation – you guys, I can’t tell you how AWESOME it is to have found my Sir and His family.)

After L went to bed, I told Sir how I’d been kneeling for Him.

“Show me.” He said.

I scooted back from where I’d been kneeling between His legs. I spread my knees slightly, and sat back on my heels. My hands rested on my thighs and I lowered my head. He inhaled sharply, and reached out to caress my face. His hands roamed from my face to my neck. Now it was my turn to gasp. He doesn’t even have to squeeze – the surface area of His hand against my throat alone is enough to make me wet and slip right into active submission. (I don’t know if that’s a real term or not – but for me, I always am submissive in subtle ways. So this is me actively expressing submission, I guess.)

He continued to caress me, squeezing my breasts. Since I haven’t been able to touch them myself this week, I was squirming in seconds. He pulled me up on my knees again and bit and sucked my nipples until I was writhing and then commanded, “Cum.”

And I did. Several times. Without Him even touching my pussy. I dropped down on my heels again, breathless. My hair fell over my face and I shook it down off the back of my neck. I wanted to engage His primal side. I lowered my head to expose the back of my neck. It was approximately 3 seconds before I felt His mouth nearing my neck. He carefully opened His mouth onto my neck, enclosing my spine in His teeth, and then He bit down.

My primal screamed. I began to struggle, and He bit harder. He grabbed my arms and held me in place. He growled and I was on the edge. “Do it.” He said with His teeth still pressing into my skin. I came hard. My body shuddered under His touch. He pulled back, and sat up. I breathed. I don’t know how much time passed before He grabbed my chin and gave me a smack to the cheek.

“What do you say?!”

I gasped. “Thank you, Sir. Sorry, Sir!”

“That’s better.”

I snuggled up against Him. My hands wandered to His cock, knowing that the smack He just gave me would have Him getting hard. I caressed Him through His sweatpants.

He leaned in close to my ear and whispered, “Only good girls get to touch my cock.”

I froze. I’d just been reprimanded for not saying “thank you” for an orgasm… That definitely took my good girl status for the moment… So I sat back and sighed, bowing my head.

He reached up to my head, grabbing a fist full of my hair. “I make dirty sluts like you suck it.”

And just like that, I was back on the edge, and my mouth watered. I helped Him with His sweats and eagerly began licking and sucking. He fucked my face. I worshipped His cock. He made me fuck my own face. He stroked Himself against my mouth. It was so fucking hot.

Afterwards, I cleaned Him up. He helped me off my knees and to the bed. We lay together talking and laughing. I told Him that I loved the primal moment we shared. And He admitted He didn’t do it consciously. I have to say, being in touch with our primal sides is such a rush. It’s pure instinct.

And I never thought I would get off on any kind of humiliation play, but when He rubs His cock and my spit all over my face, I’m in heaven. I love my place as His to do whatever he wants.

Happy #HumiliationDay, Kinky lovies!