Rituals and Sanity

I’m here! I’m still writing, but I have been so busy I haven’t had time to make it a pretty post. In short: holiday prep, ex wife moving out, work, car accident, and more work…

With all that craziness in mind, I want to share something that’s kept me sane. Rituals in our D/s dynamic.

I am to walk in heel at all times if we are walking together. That is, a step to the side and behind. I forget this more than I care to admit, and have earned bruises once or twice for it.

This is something that’s difficult for me because I’m used to leading short people through crowds, or just walking ahead in general. But it reminds me of my place with Him, when I defer to Him physically too.

Shower Time. When Sir takes His shower, I sit on the bench in the bathroom. I feel close to Him just being in the same room. When He’s done with His washing, He calls “here kitty kitty.” Then I wash and rub His back.

This is something I thought would annoy me after a while. Honestly, I wasn’t sure how I would fare in the realm of servitude. The concept has always intrigued me. But I knew it would depend on the person. But here I am, 4 months in… a few minor details away from our future Master/slave contract, me moving in this month, and I still love washing his back.

I also dry Him off and put moisturizer on His tattoos (in a specific order). Those two things are more special than the back washing. Drying Him off lets me touch every part of Him, every day. When’s the last time you touched every inch of your partner? The tattoos are the same. We both appreciate some good ink, so skin care is important. But I can’t quite describe the intimacy of it. It’s breathtaking.

And during these rituals, He’s paying complete attention to me too. He watches me, He touches me, and He talks to me. Sometimes it’s every day talk. Sometimes it’s deep. Sometimes it’s romantic. But it’s always appreciative of the moment we’re sharing. And if we get off topic in a bad way, someone notices & brings it back to the moment.

And the super cool thing? On the occasion I shower after Him, (rare because I usually shower in the morning) He washes my back, dries me off, and puts moisturizer on my tattoos. It’s so intimate, it’s so tender, and it’s incredibly sweet. Breathtaking.

Routine and rituals are comforting and they bring people closer together. I cherish those moments because I know no matter what happened that day (and there’s been plenty going on!) my Sir will be there, and except in extreme situations, our rituals will always be there. They’re a part of our every day and we make them a high priority. It’s a daily connection, and it’s priceless.

Be well.



Muirnah Writes Erotica: Lust in a Coffee Shop

Courtney sat on the couch staring at her phone for what felt like hours. In reality, it was about forty-five seconds.
I could kill Katie right now. She always finds these people for me to meet saying I need to be dating. Whatever, I don’t want to date. When will she get that through her head? Still, she means well.
The phone buzzed again, startling Courtney out of her thoughts. She reached for it, not really wanting to read the text message that was waiting.
“Look, I’ve known Katie a while now, and she’s definitely Ms. Matchmaker. I’m not looking for anything serious, but why not just meet up?”
His name was Shawn. He was a single father to a 5 year old girl. He worked hard and took care of his daughter. That was really all Katie said that he did. He needs a woman, she said. Right.
“Alright, why not.”
She replied back, not really knowing what else to say. His pictures showed a tall, dark haired man, with brown eyes and a bit of facial hair. She was definitely attracted to him. It was time to take a risk.
They chatted a bit longer, talking about their likes and dislikes, favorite movies, music, and TV shows. She had to admit, she was enjoying the witty banter. He seemed like he was genuinely interested. After some convincing, Courtney agreed to meet Shawn at the local coffee shop on Saturday. His daughter would be with his mother, and he had the whole day free. Courtney had her doubts about it being an all day thing, but she kept that much to herself. She’d rather meet, have a quickie, and go on her merry way, if the truth be known.
She pulled up to the coffee shop and slid the shifter into Park. A quick look in the rear view mirror confirmed her reflection to be satisfactory. Her green eyes shone behind her black framed glasses and her light brown hair fell around her face. She reached for the lip gloss that she kept in the cup holder. She shook her head and put the lip gloss back.
Chattering of female voices grew louder, and Courtney looked out the window at a group of college girls giggling. Their short skirts fluttered in the breeze and despite the warm temperatures, pairs of nipples pushed their way to the front of their shirts. You used to dress like that. It wasn’t so long ago… With a bit more strength than was necessary, Courtney reached for the lip gloss again. Why not? You need to get laid anyway. And isn’t that what it usually means when someone says “I don’t want anything serious”?
She stepped out of the car, pulling her purse onto her shoulder. She smoothed her tank top, noticing a twinge of excitement as her hands fell across her breasts and down her slender waist. Getting laid or not, I feel sexy, and that’s what matters. She ran a hand through her hair, pushing the car door closed behind her.
Courtney walked past the giggling school girls, discretely admiring their slender legs as their skirts fluttered in the breeze, so much so that she didn’t see the man reaching to open the door. She walked right into him.
“Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” She quickly said, backing up a step. In front of her stood a gorgeous man; He was tall, with dark hair and eyes, and a scruffy five o’clock shadow.
“Well, hello there,” he said.
“Oh gosh, you’re Shawn, aren’t you?” She felt her face turn a shade of pink. He smiled. His eyes sort of twinkled.
“You must be Courtney.”
“I’m so embarrassed.” She covered her eyes with her hands. He laughed again.
“No need to be embarrassed, it happens to the best of us. Actually, I had only just looked away from the girls a moment before you bumped me.”
Oh shit! He was watching me long enough to know I was checking out the girls?!
“Bumped you? I’m pretty sure that was a flat out ram.”
He smiled again. Courtney wondered if his brain went to the same place hers did when she said the word “ram”. The twinkle in his eye confirmed her silent thought, and he pulled the door open.
“Shall we?”
Courtney stepped in front of him and through the door. She turned around as she reached the line, catching him staring at her. She blushed, and in an instant decided that she was completely in lust with this man.
“See anything you like?”
He snapped his attention back to her face. It was his turn to be speechless. It didn’t last long, however, and Courtney was assured that he felt the same way about the sexual chemistry between them.
“Actually, I see quite a bit that I like,” he said quietly with a grin.
“Which part is your favorite?” She turned around, stepping forward in line
“Probably this,” he said, putting his hands on her hips. She leaned back into him, her ass pressing into his groin. She felt him getting hard.
“Hmmmm. I don’t suppose you’d like to skip coffee,” she turned her head to face him.
“And skip out on an hour of delightful torture?” he smiled. “Not a chance.”
Courtney’s face fell into a pout.
“Aww, don’t be that way. I don’t want you to think I’m anything less than a gentleman. And besides, I have all day.”
“Fair enough,” she said.
Finally it was their turn at the counter. He kept his arm around Courtney’s waist while she ordered a caramel latte. He ordered a medium coffee, cream and sugar.
“I’ve got sugar for you, but no, you want to have coffee and talk,” she quipped.
“Patience,” he said, grabbing his coffee and her latte.
She pouted again, but followed him to a table with a bit of skip in her step. He sat down at a table, secluded in a corner. Courtney sat across from him. Her jeans were tight against her pussy. Well, this is absolutely better than I expected, besides him making me wait for what I know he wants too.
“Well?” He took a sip of his coffee, watching her intently.
“Sorry, did you say something?”
He laughed. “I was just wondering how you think our meet-up is going.”
“Oh. Well, great. I mean, I want to fuck your brains out, but I can wait.”
It was his turn to blush. Bet he’s never heard a woman be so forward with him.
“Well, I’m flattered. And, the feeling is mutual,” he said.
He changed the subject, talking about his job, asking about hers. It was all Courtney could do to pay attention to his words, when in her mind she imagined his voice coaxing her, whispering for her to cum on his hands, on his cock, on his lips. She tried to keep up with the conversation, with little success. At least I’m thinking about how much I want to fuck him, not someone else.
“You’ve barely touched your latte,” he said as he took the last gulp of his coffee.
“Oh, yeah, I’m not that thirsty,” she said as she sat pressing her thighs together.
“Well that’s a shame… I have something for you to drink,” he grinned.
Oh my GOD, could he be any cheesier?! Wait, I called myself sugar earlier…
She stood and tossed her half full latte in the trash.
“My car?” she asked.
“Where are we going?” he said with a bit of a surprised look on his face.
“Oh, I don’t know. The lake?”
“Sounds nice.”
The lake?! Could I have picked a more public place? Fuck it. If anyone sees, they can join.
A few minutes later, they walked out of the coffee shop, hip to hip with their arms around each other as if they were a couple. She stopped at her car, unlocking it and sliding into the driver’s seat. He slid in next to her and closed the passenger door. Without hesitating, he placed his hand on Courtney’s thigh and gave a squeeze. Her face flushed and she turned to look at him.
“Maybe we should go back to my…”
“Nah, let’s go to the lake, I’ll make it worth your while.” His hand crept closer to her pussy, and she thought she might cum if he just touched her.
“Good, now let me drive, so we get there in one piece.”
“You’re no fun.”
“You won’t be either if I crash us into a tree.”
A few minutes later, they were pulling up to a vacant lot by the lake. For a Saturday, it wasn’t very crowded, only the occasional jogger. Courtney slid the car into park and turned to face Him in the passenger seat. She leaned toward him, her lips near his ear.
“What were you saying about making this worth my while?”
He turned his head, grazing her lips with his. He opened his lips and she did the same. She caressed his tongue softly, letting her hands travel around his arm. His lips moved across her cheek at the same time her hand reached for his crotch. He was getting hard, and she stroked him through his jeans, making him harder.
“No, no. I want to feel you,” he whispered.
“So feel me,” she cooed.
He didn’t hesitate to slide his hand up her tank top, feeling her soft yet firm breasts. Her nipples hardened under his touch. Chills traveled up and down her arms, legs, and spine. The flush traveled up to her neck and face as His kisses trailed down her chest. He pulled her tank top down, snapping a strap in the process.
“Shit, I’m sorry.”
“Shut up,” Courtney breathed.
Gentler this time, he pulled her tank top all the way down exposing her milky white skin and pink nipples. His lips closed around her nipple, sucking and nibbling as Courtney writhed in pleasure in the driver’s seat.
“Finger me,” she said, in an almost desperate voice. Her hands worked at the button of her jeans, in one motion sliding them and her black, cotton boy shorts down to her ankles, spreading her legs as far as she could. He kept his mouth on her breasts and moved his hand towards her hot pussy. She was already tracing her clit with her fingers when his hands reached her. His index finger slid inside her silky wetness and she let out a sigh.
He slid his middle finger in her with ease. She was warm, wet, and clenching at his fingers. He paused a moment to think about how that would feel on his throbbing dick. Wetness surrounding his head, his precum mixing with hers…
“More!” She demanded.
He pushed a third finger in her pussy as she furiously fingered her clit and he felt her explode around his hand. She gushed all over his hand. Not wanting the orgasm to end, He pulled his hand back and pushed his fingers as far inside her as they would go. She screamed, and her hands grabbed for his hair.
“Too much?”
He didn’t ask twice. His hand pounded her pussy, and she squirmed in the seat.
“Ohmigod, that feels so good!”
He felt his arm start to go numb, and gave it his all to make her cum once more. He slowed his thrusting and circled her clit with his thumb. It was only seconds before she gushed all over his hand again, her pussy clenching at his fingers inside her.
“Holy shit. That was amazing.” She breathed heavy, trying to slow her heart rate.
He smiled at her, his eyes twinkling. “I need to tell you something.”
“Oh Jesus, what?”
“I’m not Shawn. I’m his brother, Steve.”

Muirnah Writes Erotica: The Bus

I was taking the bus home after working a long shift. I saw her walk up the steps, dressed in a short jean skirt and a white tank top that left nothing to the imagination as it was pouring outside. Her heels clicked on the hard floor as she walked towards me.

I shook off a chill, thinking to myself that she must be freezing. She flashed a bright smile that would make a dentist horny. Hmm. Come to think of it, I was horny myself. She sat across from me, and exhaled a deep sigh. She smelled like shampoo.

Water splashed on my scrub pants as she wrung out her long brown hair. “I’m so sorry,” she said in a breathy voice.

“No problem,” I smiled, allowing myself to feel the coolness on my legs.

She was quiet for a moment, and stood up to adjust her jean skirt. I wondered if she was adjusting because she saw that I stole a glance between her legs. Her underwear was navy blue and lace, allowing a few strands of brown hair to show through.

The bus screeched with slamming brakes, and her two inch heeled sandals slid in the grooves of the floor. My instincts took over and I grabbed her hips, roughly pulling her towards me to save her from the fall. Her arms flailed for a moment, her hands catching themselves in my knotty blond hair. When the bus came to a complete stop, she steadied herself with her right hand on my shoulder. The bus driver shouted back something that sounded like “sorry” followed by a mumble cursing the miles of red brake lights ahead.

“What’s going on?” she asked, waving towards the traffic.

She must not be from around here, I realized. “They’ve been doing construction on this road for months now,” I said. “And there’s only one lane opened.”

She looked at me thoughtfully. “Traffic around here is horrendous day or night,” I explained. That’d been the exact reason I stopped driving to and from work. I’d been rear-ended three times in the month since I moved here, and the public transportation wasn’t too bad.

“Oh,” she sighed. “So how long does it take to get through here?” “Not too long. The lights change pretty quickly, although the rain might extend it a bit.”

She nodded, and took a step back. That’s when I realized I was still holding her hips. I released my grip, and she slid into the seat next to me. The smell of her shampoo intoxicated me, and I imagined what her skin might taste like if she smelled that great.

“I’m new around here,” she confirmed what I had guessed.

I smiled, “I kind of figured.” She smiled back.

“Thanks for catching me,” she said softly as she put her hand on my leg.

I tingled, and hoped she didn’t notice the goose bumps spreading down my bare arms. “Oh, it’s fine. I mean, you’re welcome.”

She smiled a bigger smile this time. She propped her left ankle on my lap, and began undoing the buckle on her shoes. I watched her, hypnotized by the movement of her manicured fingers, efficiently sliding the strap off her ankle. My eyes wandered further up her tan leg, thinking about what was between them, just a short distance upwards.

“Do you want to see?” she asked me. I mentally shook myself, and realized I was blushing.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…” My voice trailed off as she put her finger on my lips, and my hand on her thigh.

“Shhh. I want you to…”

Fuck me, I thought silently in my head, hoping I was finishing her sentence.

My hand slid slowly up her smooth, freshly shaven legs as she slid herself down the row of empty seats to stretch out. My hands felt every inch of her thighs, stopping when I reached the hem of her skirt, just two inches below her lace blue panties. I hadn’t realized she lay down, until she picked her head up and nodded for me to continue. I was completely finished listening to my overbearing brain, and the tingle between my legs took over.

I reached up to touch the lace, catching a glimpse of her smile as I did so. I shouldn’t have been surprised to find them wet, considering she’d walked on the bus drenched, but this was a warm and silky wetness.

I bit my lip and rubbed gently where I felt her clit grow with excitement. ”Mmmm,” she moaned quietly, but loud enough that I heard it. That was all the encouragement I needed. My right hand moved to her hips, and under her thin tank top, feeling her soft skin warming up to my touch. I reached further, circling her erect nipples through her bra with my fingertip. She propped herself up on her elbows long enough to unhook her bra and my hand slid under it. Her breast fit comfortably in my hand, and I gently squeezed as my left hand found its way to her other breast.

She sat up and pulled up the front of her tank top, giving my tongue a chance to see just how good her skin tasted. Her nipples hardened under my tongue, and my hands circled her back, pulling her toward me as I gently grazed her nipple with my teeth. She sucked in a deep breath, pressing her chest closer to my mouth.

She really did taste wonderful, and I could only imagine how the wetness between her legs would taste. She ran her fingers through a knot in my hair, and the tug on my scalp made the tingle between my legs turn into a flood. When I gave her nipple a gentle flick with my tongue, she slid her finger into my mouth. Oh my god… And I knew that I could never have imagined how sweet she tasted.

She pushed her lace panties down over her knees in one movement that I hadn’t even known she started. She knew what she wanted, that was for sure, and I was not complaining a bit. She knelt over my lap, and her spread legs released a scent that I wanted to devour. I bent my head and stretched my tongue as far into the crease between her legs as I could, and it wasn’t far enough. I slid down in my seat to push myself closer to her, and her hands found their way through my hair, pushing my mouth closer to her swelling clit. I moved my tongue furiously, first in circles, then up and down, then side to side, pushing my tongue as far into her pussy as I could. I slowed down as I slid one finger inside her wet pussy.

She approved with a gasp and a louder moan that neither of us cared if anyone heard. I pushed another finger in and her hips began to grind on my hand. My mouth found its way back up to her stomach, and then to each nipple. I moved my fingers in motion with her hips, and I felt her g-spot swell. Her moaning got louder, and I began to rub her clit with my free hand. She pulled my hair with a gasp as her pussy clenched my fingers in ecstasy.

I felt a flood of warmth over my hand and into my lap as she collapsed against me. She was breathing heavy in my ear, and I couldn’t have moved if I wanted to. And trust me, I didn’t. I slid my fingers down her leg, and adjusted her tank top as I quickly realized this event wasn’t exactly private. She slid off my lap, re-hooked her bra and plopped a kiss on my lips as she sat down next to me. We sat in silence for a few minutes catching our breath.

“This is my stop,” she said with a smile. She pulled a business card out of her pocket, wrapped it in her navy blue panties, and slid her hand between my legs. I flinched as her fingers grazed my clit, swollen and wet with excitement. She left her panties there, between my legs as she stood up and walked towards the opening bus doors. She gave me a wink as she walked down the steps back into the rain. I couldn’t move to grab her panties that she’d shoved between my legs for another five minutes.

By that time I’d reached my stop. I slid her panties in my scrub pockets and stood up to gather my belongings. I gave a sigh as I turned towards the front of the bus to make my exit.

“I hope tomorrow’s shift is this exciting,” Bernie the driver said to me with a smile. I blushed, replaying the last half hour in my mind, realizing Bernie had gotten quite a show.

“Who knows, B, I’m off for the next two days,” I grinned. I gave a wave goodbye as I stepped into the rain, grateful that it would camouflage the wetness that was on my clothes while I walked the two blocks to my apartment. I couldn’t wait to get my hands on myself, and the bus shelter up ahead was empty…

Muirnah Writes Erotica: Learning Curves

I can remember exactly what she was wearing that night. I dated guys but I always had this lingering attraction to women. The guys thought it was hot – something to be used for their advantage. I didn’t want to have my first time with a woman while a man watched. I wanted a chance to explore a woman’s body on my own, without the coaching and “oh that’s hot” sort of commentary that I knew a man would interject.
Kylee O’Connor was wearing a black dress suit with pink pin stripes on her jacket and skirt. Her white button down blouse was buttoned up to her breasts and the rest of the top was loosely framing the necklace that fell down her chest, just above her cleavage line. Her brown hair was pinned up in a French twist, with small gold earrings showing through the strands that framed her face. She wore glasses while she read an excerpt from her latest book – a romantic coming of age novel. I knew the book for a middle school and high school age group but I felt that the coming of age theme was significant to me personally.
She was packing up her laptop and notes from her presentation, occasionally looking up to thank attendees who came up to the stage to introduce themselves and compliment her on a job well done. I made my way through the dwindling crowd, and stopped a few feet away from the lectern since she had her back to me. I tried not to stare, but my eyes wandered from the bottom of her low heeled shoes up to shapely calves and firm thighs until I lost visual of her skin. Her pencil skirt was form fitted to her hips, and showed the shape of her ass while she was bent over. I looked around, and noticed the auditorium was empty. I cleared my throat to get her attention without startling her.
The muscles in her calves twitched as she stood up quickly and turned around to face me. By the look on her face, I had clearly startled her. She regained her composure quickly, pulling down her jacket and adjusting her skirt. I noticed a hint of pink flooding her cheeks as well.
I took a deep breath, and calmed my shaking insides. God, she was so beautiful. How was an average girl like me going to hold a conversation with this green-eyed beauty? I wanted to be professional and polite… but heaven help me, I wanted to rip that suit off of her gorgeously tan skin and just…
“What can I do for you, Miss…?” She broke into my thoughts with a voice as sweet as honey. It was much softer when it wasn’t magnified by a microphone.
“Lily. Lily Stone,” I said with a shaky voice. I extended my hand to her, and she grasped it firmly.
“Well, Lily, it’s nice to meet you.” She spoke smoothly and confidently. “What can I do for you?”
My mind swirled. I thought of telling her that she could take her clothes off, and let me admire her body. “I was wondering if I could buy you a cup of coffee, and discuss your book with you.”
She smiled. “Of course.”
I watched her bend over, this time bending at the knees, to pick up her purse. She pushed a stack of papers into her laptop bag, and turned to face me again. “After you,” she said.
We walked to the coffee bar in the Community Center on campus. It was quiet and nearly empty as it was just before spring break, and no one had studying on the brain. I bought her a non-fat latte, and myself a vanilla coffee. We sat at a corner sofa, behind the big screen TV which usually aired the university sports. It was off now, so we didn’t have any distractions. Well, I had plenty.
Kylee took off her suit jacket and laid it carefully across the arm of the chair. I sat on the adjacent arm chair and crossed my left leg over my right, only about six inches from her legs. She sat delicately, knees to her left, closest to me, crossed at the ankles. I was conscious of the cool air conditioning blowing down where we were sitting, and I knew my nipples would be visible through my sports bra and tank top. I tried not to pay attention to the almost-painful throbbing erection I could feel on my breasts. Kylee looked comfortable despite the tight skirt and heels as she told me how she found her publisher, and how they worked with her in depth to perfect her writing, although most revisions were done on her own.
She took a final sip of her latte and glanced at her watch. “Oh gosh, Lily, I must be keeping you from something. We’ve been talking for two hours!” I glanced at my own watch, surprised that the time had gone by so fast.
“No, I don’t have class tomorrow until the afternoon. Tuesday nights I usually just relax.” The coffee bar was closed, but the community center kept its doors open all night. It was a good place to go study if you had a roommate that was distracting you, especially if you weren’t the library type. I spent many nights studying in these very chairs.
“Oh, I see,” she said thoughtfully. I thought she licked her lips, but I couldn’t be sure. “Well, I’ve told you all about me and my book. Tell me about yourself. What’s your major? And you must have a boyfriend. A pretty young thing like you can’t stay single on this campus.”
I felt my cheeks blush. “I’m a third year English major. And no, I don’t have a boyfriend. I don’t have anyone, for that matter.” It was the first time I ever admitted that I really didn’t have friends at school. After all, I was six hundred miles from home. And well, I really didn’t have many friends there either. I liked being alone. I was more focused on my goals that way.
Her hand landed on my knee, which was now uncrossed and slightly spread in a more comfortable position. My jeans were probably a size too small. I felt the warmth of her hand through the denim, and she squeezed gently.
“You remind me so much of myself when I was your age,” she said softly. “I was a loner in school, didn’t really feel the need to socialize much, and I really didn’t know who I was.”
“It’s not that I’m not sociable,” I said, defending myself. “I just don’t see a need to put partying and drugs at the forefront of my life when I have goals I want to achieve.”
She nodded in agreement with me. I watched the muscles in her neck contract and relax with that simple movement. She swept her hair off her shoulder and ever so gently her fingers trailed along her clavicle. I closed my eyes and sighed. Did she notice my eyes sweeping over her curves? As I inhaled once more, I caught a whiff of her perfume as she leaned in closer to me. My heart pounded in my ears. The moment froze like just before the first kiss in a movie. My eyes fluttered open and my tongue licked my lips without my consent.
“Kylee, there you are!” A deep male voice came from around the corner.
I opened my eyes and sat up straight in my chair. A man stood just off to the left, a briefcase in his right hand and a cell phone in his left. Kylee stood and walked gracefully to this tall blonde haired man.
“I’m sorry, Dan, I meant to call you and let you know where I was,” she said as she kissed his cheek.
My heart sunk. I began to gather my belongings. Well, I thought, this will make for some nice daydreams.
“Lily, this is Dan, he teaches in the biology department,” she said, dragging Dan behind her.
I stood, acutely aware of the flutter in my stomach and the chills that had hardened my nipples when she spoke my name. I smiled and shook his hand.
“Pleased to meet you, Lily. So my lady has been talking your ear off for hours, no doubt,” he said with a sideways glance at Kylee.
“Oh no, I was asking her questions about publishing and stuff. I’m sorry to have kept her from you.” I was blushing with embarrassment.
“Nonsense,” Kylee said sternly. “I enjoyed your company.”
Dan was staring at her ass. Not that I blamed him, but I didn’t really want him there. God only knows what might have happened if he hadn’t showed up. I sighed audibly.
“Here, take my card,” Kylee smiled. “Email me, or call me whenever. I’d love to read some of your writing. And we can get together for coffee again.”
“Sure, thanks.” I pushed the card into the pocket of my jeans. “Well, thanks for talking with me. Nice to meet you, Dan.”
I picked up my things, and headed toward the door with a million thoughts running through my head.
“Lily, email me tonight so I have your email address, please?” She called from the corner where just a few minutes ago, I felt her breath on my lips.
“Okay.” I forced a smile despite the disappointment that pitted in my stomach.
It was warm outside as I walked towards my apartment. The campus was almost empty except for those of us that chose to stay here instead of going somewhere for spring break. It’s not like I had friends back home. And although I had family, they did their thing, and I did mine.
I unlocked the door to my apartment, greeted by the persistent meowing of my cat. I dumped some food in her dish and sat down on my sofa. I grabbed my laptop and opened my email. I reached in my pocket and pulled out the card that Kylee gave me. I brought it to my nose for an inexplicable reason. It smelled faintly of perfume. I wondered if that was an additional cost in business card printing. Leaning into the plush microfiber sofa, I typed a quick email to Kylee. Nothing special, just “Hi, this is Lily. It was nice talking with you tonight.”
I put the laptop back on the coffee table and waited. “Ding.” That was fast, I thought.
“I’m so glad you emailed. Listen, I apologize for Dan intruding. Meet me for lunch tomorrow, off campus? Kylee–This message sent from my blackberry device.”
I smiled as I read her message. Of course she would have a blackberry. We emailed back and forth for about twenty minutes arranging a meeting time at the vegetarian café a few blocks off campus.
I drifted through the evening and following morning with the giddiness of a school girl. I was going to see this beautiful woman again. Even better, she wanted to see me again. I looked at myself in the mirror before I stepped out of my apartment. I was wearing white capri pants with a pink tank and matching cardigan. My hair framed my face until I walked outside in the breeze. It brushed gently against my neck as I walked down the front steps toward the café. The sun was shining, and the skies were blue. I was nervous with excitement.
The café was called VeggiZen. From the outside it was just a stone exterior house, but on the inside it was a cozy place with Chinese décor. It was a calming atmosphere; yet my heart was racing. Kylee was waiting for me at a table in the corner. She looked breath taking in her black pants and green button down shirt. The shirt hugged her curves, gently outlining her breasts and small waist.
“Lily, thanks for coming.” She smiled warmly.
“No, thank you for inviting me,” I said as I sat down across from her. Her green eyes shined like emeralds against her brown hair which was draped lusciously over her shoulders. Her smile was mesmerizing. We talked for at least an hour over salads and drinks. She smiled at me with her pale pink lips touching the straw in her green tea.
“I have some books and articles in my house on publishing. If you’re interested, I’d be happy to let you borrow them,” she said.
“Yes, I’d like that.”
“Good. I’m only a block from here, if you want to walk with me.” She stood up and smoothed her pants as she reached for her purse.
“No, please,” I said, as I reached for my credit card in my back pocket. “You’ve been kind enough to take time out of your schedule for me, let me buy lunch.”
Her protesting ceased when the waitress took my card and the check from the table.
“Lily, thank you. You didn’t have to do that.”
“I know I didn’t. I wanted to.” I bent over casually to sign the receipt, smiling as I stood to see her staring down my tank top.
She ran her tongue over her lips with a half smile as she gently tugged my arm towards the door.
The walk to Kylee’s house took about five minutes. We didn’t talk much, just enjoyed the sunshine and breeze on our skin. She lived in a quaint town house on a quiet street. She opened the front door and motioned me inside. Her living room was painted an eggshell white with a pale blue border. I stood in the middle of the room admiring the homey look and feel of her house, and before I could speak, her lips were on mine. It was gentle, yet a bit forceful as her tongue pushed its way into my mouth. It took a moment before I caught her rhythm and kissed her back.
She slowly backed me up until my calves were touching the sofa. She broke the kiss long enough to push me into a sitting position and she knelt in front of me. Her hands massaged my thighs gently, and my hands seemed to gravitate to her neck, pulling her kiss closer. She broke off the kiss, and trailed her tongue down to my ear, down my neck. I certainly couldn’t form a coherent sentence, but I did form half a thought. This is it, I thought, this is what I’ve wanted. A sigh escaped my lips, the kind that sounds sort of like a moan.
“Lily?” She stopped kissing me, but stayed close to my ear.
“Do you want me to stop?” she whispered. I felt her hot breath on my ear and I shivered.
I forced the words out of my mouth. “No, Kylee, please don’t stop.”
“This is your first time with a woman?” she asked.
I nodded, unable to form any more words.
“I’ll go slowly,” she said softly. Her lips resumed their gentle kissing on my neck and down to my shoulder as she slipped off my cardigan. She moved the straps to my tank top and bra down my arm, and kissed a trail down to the side of my breast. She stopped and moved to the other side, repeating the same tender kisses down my neck and shoulder.
Her hands reached under my tank top, and seemingly effortlessly released my C cup breasts from my clothes. I struggled to pull my arms out, and threw the shirt on the floor. Kylee had unbuttoned her shirt, and slid it off her shoulders. She knelt in front of me in a white laced bra that showed her nipples growing hard. I reached out and caressed her breasts. They fit perfectly in my hands as I squeezed them gently. She unhooked her bra in the back, and the lace fell to the floor. I stared at her beautiful physique with an open mouth. Her waist was chiseled, her hips flared, and her breasts sat perky on her chest. I rubbed her nipples against the palm of my hand, and then felt her hand on my wrist.
“This is about you. I want to please you, and make your first time memorable,” she said in a voice I could only compare to the sweetness of a caregiver.
Her hands massaged my breasts as she pushed me gently back into the plush sofa. She leaned forward on her knees, and with one hand unzipped her pants, letting them slide to the ground around her knees. She had a matching white lace thong on, and I could see glistening brown hair underneath the lace. Her scent intoxicated me. I leaned back in the chair and bit my lower lip as I felt the warmth of her lips on my breasts, licking and teasing my nipples, and then gently biting to keep them hard and erect. I moaned softly, letting the pleasure into my body.
Her long brown hair swept across my skin as she kissed zig zags across my stomach. I stretched back on the chair, my hips pushed closer to her and the edge of the chair. Her hands fumbled for a second on the button of my pants, and I heard the zip of the fly. She pulled my capris over my hips as I lifted my ass to help her get them off. I put my hands on my pink boy short panties and she stopped me.
“Just relax,” she whispered. I couldn’t argue with that. This was the most erotic experience of my life; I didn’t really want to rush it. She slid my pants down my legs and off my feet, taking my flip flops with them. Her hands gently caressed my calves, and up to my thighs as her kisses resumed on my stomach, across my hips, and down to my thighs. She swept her fingers over my panties, and I felt the wetness against my own skin. Her finger slid underneath my panties, spreading the wetness from my opening up to my clit. My hips bucked in response to her touch, and she leaned her head against my stomach, trying to keep me still.
I bit back a groan as I felt a finger slide inside me, exploring inside and gently rubbing over my pleasure spot. My heartbeat sped up as I felt her thumb massage my clit from outside my panties and her lips kissing below my belly button. The tingle spread from between my legs down to my toes. I was close to orgasm, and I couldn’t help the moans escaping my throat. I pushed my hips closer to her hand and gripped the arm of the chair tightly. She slowly withdrew her finger, placed it in her mouth, and sucked my juices slowly off her finger.
I felt the wetness still on her hand as she pulled my panties down over my knees. “Close your eyes,” she said. I leaned my head back in the chair and felt a nub touching and rubbing my wet slit. Her lips kissed and licked my hips. I felt the nub stop at my clit, rubbing back and forth. I opened my eyes and let out another moan. Kylee was rubbing her breast and nipple across my wet pussy, and I felt my orgasm coming closer. I threw my head back and groaned louder, as my muscles became rigid. I began to shake harder when I felt her finger replace her nipple on my clit.
She rubbed with more pressure, in circles, and back and forth, and up and down on my clit. I couldn’t control the sounds now, as I neared a level of orgasm I’d never reached before. I put my hands in her hair, and she looked up at me smiling. “You’re close,” she said.
I nodded breathlessly and closed my eyes, trying to hold off my orgasm, wanting it to last as long as possible.
“Just let go, Lily, just let go,” she said and plunged two fingers deep inside me, and her pinky finger pushed into my ass. I gasped and groaned at the penetration. I was shocked, but it felt too good to tell her to stop. I felt the pressure relax on my clit, bringing me back from the edge of orgasm just a little. That didn’t last long because I soon felt her mouth on my clit, sucking and flicking with her tongue. I was instantly on the pinnacle of orgasm, and I took a deep ragged breath.
“Oh fuck!” I screamed as I began to convulse in pleasure. Kylee kept licking at my clit until my shaking slowed, and she gently removed her fingers. She moved her head from between my legs and I watched her wipe the glistening liquid off her chin. She leaned forward again, kissing my mound, and pressing her still erect nipple into my slit again, sliding it up to my clit. I jumped, and gave a half-laugh, half-moan as I reached down to her shoulder to stop her.
“Ok, I see you’ve had enough.” She smiled at me. I nodded, out of breath. “Do you want to taste?” She asked, and stood between my knees holding her breast in front of my lips. I opened my mouth and licked around her nipple savoring my own taste, and gently sucked her nipple. She sighed in approval as she ran her fingers through my short brown hair. I moved away from her breast, realizing I really didn’t know how to please another woman. It must have showed on my face, because she leaned down and kissed my lips, and said, “It’s okay, Doll, you will learn…another day.”
We both dressed in silence. I suddenly felt shy and inadequate because I didn’t please her. I’d never been one to just receive and not give anything back.
“Would you like something to drink?” She brushed the hair out of my face and gently kissed my cheek.
I blushed, and felt a shiver move down my spine.
“You,” I whispered.
She smiled. “How about some water?”
“But, you don’t…”
“No, Lily. I wanted to please you.” She touched my face with the back of her fingers. “There will be time for me.”
I nodded, feeling a bit rejected. “Okay,” I said. I felt a tugging inside me that was a fine indicator of my fast attachment to this beautiful amazing woman. Even if I never see her again, it was a fantastic learning experience, I thought.
“Kylee?” I said as I reached her front door.
“Yes, Lily?”
“Thank you. For everything. I had a very educational day.” I smiled.
“Anytime, Lily. You know how to get in touch with me.” Her green eyes sparkled.
I left her house and walked towards my apartment with a grin on my face that could have melted the wicked witch. I would remember my time with Kylee for the rest of my life.

In an instant…

It was my birthday. July 22nd. I answered a message on OkCupid from a guy who identified as everything I ever wanted in a partner. (Too good to be true!) (Shut up!)

After a day or two of heated, deep yet light chatting via text, I was convinced that I was going to be super disappointed. Like this guy was seriously too good to be true. Kinky, Dominant, Sadistic (He gave examples…) but also sensual, romantic (wtf!), and funny. So there has to be *something*, my brain insisted. But try as I may, I couldn’t find it. Then He suggested talking on the phone before our scheduled meet up on Thursday of that week. I was terrified.

I can’t really explain, but the thing is, I have never been 100% comfortable on the phone. Awkward silence, having to verbalize my thoughts literally made me shake with anxiety. Somehow I managed the strength to talk to Him on the phone. It was uncanny how quickly He put me at ease. We laughed, shared stories, talked about our jobs, and ended up staying on the phone for 4 hours while we worked. And since we were working, yeah, some of it was just air, but it wasn’t uncomfortable! We have talked on the phone every day since then, except the days we’ve been together. And it’s still comforting to have Him on the other end of the phone.

Finally, it was Thursday. It was the day we would finally meet in person. The chemistry over the phone was intoxicating. I was being noticed. I was being heard. So I wasn’t as nervous as I normally I would be. I remember driving through town and being more anxious about finding a parking spot near the bar where the munch was being held. I hit the jackpot of parking spots AND got there after the meters turn off for the night. (Winning, considering I had no change on me.) I was wearing a knee length black and white striped skirt, strappy sandals, cheeky lace panties (I had teased Him, asking what He’d do if I showed up in a skirt with no panties… His answer and the state of my then marriage prompted me to be a good girl.), and a purple sleeveless deep v-neck top. I wish I’d taken a picture of myself that night. I felt so sexy… My hair and makeup were on point, and I had butterflies.

I texted Him that I arrived and parked. He replied that He’d meet me outside, but I didn’t get that message because I put my phone back in my purse. So I walked into this tiny bar. Everyone turned and looked at me, the bartender said “hello!”, and I froze. I didn’t see Him. Then I remembered they were outside, so I asked where to go to get outside, and began following a server. In the small doorway between the main bar and the hallway leading to the outdoor patio, it happened. In an instant, my world began to shift and I didn’t even realize it.

The fuse on our physical chemistry ignited. I rushed into His arms and gave Him a hug. He smelled like soap and just… man. He wasn’t doused in cologne, or wearing a button down shirt like all the headless doms on Twitter. He is very rarely a stereotypical anything. He held me for a moment, pulled back, smiled a gorgeous smile with His entire face, and said, “Yay!”

I have never felt someone buzzing with excitement to meet me on a first date/meet. It was ridiculously intoxicating. I stood there and stared so long, He had to urge me on. What happened next was an indicator of the instinctual dynamic between us. He turned and walked towards the outdoor patio. I followed a step or two behind Him and to the right. He opened the door and I stepped through, stopping just on the other side of the threshold. He walked past me, and I followed again.

When I sat down next to Him, I was so drawn to Him I couldn’t help touching Him every chance I got. His knee, His arm, His hands. I touched as much as I could without being lewd in public. He returned the gestures just as fervently. There were moments during that meet when I looked into His eyes, and the world around us just disappeared. It was intense and intoxicating. His stare burned right through me.  I was aroused and immediately felt the Dominance in Him calling to the submissive in me.

I could tell you all the intimate details of the rest of the night, but I would be here typing for a week, so that will be another time. Suffice it to say, the entire evening was plucked out of the last BDSM romance novel I read. And that is not an exaggeration. 🙂

All of that, to say this… I love you Zehguul. I knew that day my life had changed irrevocably. I love the life we are building together. The last 3 months have been a combination of hurricane force stress and the calmest seas I’ve ever experienced, but I am glad it’s you, and I’m glad you’re the source of my calm. Here’s to many more months as your kitty, your submissive, your masochist, and your girlfriend. ❤




I had so much fun last night. It was so awesome to get out and just be near friends.

Since it was a vanilla outing, we dropped the verbal and outward (obvious) dynamic stuff. But it didn’t change anything – it was still there.

Every time Sir touched me, or whispered in my ear, my body hummed with energy. And when we locked eyes, the room disappeared. It’s intense with Him. Everything is intense.

One thing Sir did say was that I should keep my walking position. I failed at that pretty badly. 😕

You see, I’m a big girl. I’m 6’3”. And in bars, I’m used to forging a path between drunk people and everyone else I’m with following in my wake.

Imagine my *gasp* when I got to our table and saw Sir standing at the door smirking at me for leaving Him there. But it was done…

(Several minutes after the first time I left him at the door)

Him: I am glad to see you out and smiling and laughing.

me: thank you, Sir. I’m sorry for not waiting for you.

Him: Is it worth the spanking you’re gonna get later?

me: *nods enthusiastically*


I wish I could put into beautiful words the way it feels when he looks at me or touches me in public. I stand out in a crowd, but mostly for the wow factor. But when He looks at me, I know He sees ME. And that’s intoxicating.


Later at home, after me spending some time enjoying His cock in my mouth, Sir caned me with a steel rod for my lack of manners. Then He fucked my mouth, my pussy, and my ass.

He’s so far in my mind and body, that sometimes all it takes is a little physical stimulation and His voice in my ear saying “Fucking cum, you little slut,” before I’m cumming like crazy. (I look forward to seeing how far this connection can go – will He eventually be able to say it without touching me, and still make me cum? I hope so.)

We have an infinite world of kink and connection to explore. And I’m not rushing through or missing any part of this.

This… This is living. This is being seen, desired, and fulfilled.