Hysterectomy recovery for a hyper sexual

Hi, I’m Muirnah. I love sex, but I can’t have it for 8 weeks because I had a hysterectomy.

In plain terms, my uterus and cervix were removed, and in my case, tubes as well. Now, if you need a brush up on female anatomy, the cervix is at the top of the vaginal canal, and the bottom of the uterus. So, if you take off the top of the vagina, it must be “cuffed” to be closed again. Because of this, I cannot have anything penetrating my vagina or anus for 8. Whole. Weeks.

Z suggested one morning, once I felt well enough to be horny, that I have some Hitachi Time. And like I’d been punched in the gut, I broke down and cried.

My marriage had been sexless for a while before it ended. Using the Hitachi to orgasm became a daily thing. I was usually in too much pain to use dildos. It was all I had, and my resentment grew towards my wife and the Hitachi.

So while I do use it sometimes, those circumstances are supplemental. Treats, if you prefer. Plus, I was so desensitized it took me 5-10 minutes to cum with the damn thing anyway. So the thought of just using it on myself because I can’t have intercourse is a complete turn off and as we found out in this situation, a heartwrenching trigger.

Sex is important to me. My love language is touch. I struggled with not knowing how Z and I would be able to share the intimacy we both would crave without having sex.A lot of it was also contingent on my recovery and how quickly I would feel well enough to think about sex (answer: several hours) let alone be well enough to do things and move around (answer: 6 days).

Originally, I had planned to tell the nitty gritty of how to get off when you can’t have intercourse. And I still might, but honestly, it’s hard to articulate. I want to tell you how much it hurts to miss that intimacy. I’m not talking general sexual urges, although those are equally difficult. Like, damn, I just wanna fuck! But, that feeling, that connection when He is deep inside me and He looks into my eyes… It cannot be duplicated and it cannot be replaced. We’ve tried.

Sure, we’ve had fun, but the truth is, it cuts me deeply. It kills me that I can’t feel that connection. And a few nights ago, it surfaced in a big way. We were being as close as we could – His cock on my labia and clit, just feeling our bodies together… But I was so wet, I was terrified He would slip in. And as soon as that terror reached me, I was crying. Not just tears, but sobbing and heartache. He held me, and told me it was all going to be okay, that He still wanted me, that He always would.

Last night, this version of our fucking brought Him to orgasm. I was happy, but not as happy as I wanted to be. Yes, I have given plenty blowjobs, and Him cumming on my pussy was definitely hot. But it wasn’t the same. Nothing will ever be able to replace that intimacy.

Logically, I know this is temporary. Logically, I also know it’s for the best. I mean, this surgery has already changed my life. Like, literally, I feel like myself again! No chronic pain, no constant cramping, no bleeding! And yet, there is a part of me that isn’t whole without this intimacy. And I am sure I am not the first to feel like this. I know I won’t be the last. And now that we begin week 3, I am that much closer to week 8.

The thing that is driving me to be okay is knowing that He feels the same way. He misses me terribly, despite the fact that He can and does have sex. (I am grateful that He has that outlet, for His happiness and hers. She’s a beautiful person and has extended kindness after kindness.)

But our poly steps do feel 1,000 times more difficult because I can’t use sex to reconnect with Z. But *knowing* that it’s hard for Him too, that He really does miss it, and me, and our lovemaking…

We will do plenty of fun things in the mean time. Last night we had some impact play. I’m grateful that my body is healing enough that I can do things like this, to reaffirm our dynamic in my mind. I am going back to work Monday, and I am looking forward to the routine and distraction. And the best part is, much of our weekdays incorporate my servitude, and what a beautiful focus that will be.

In short, if you ever find yourself in a similar situation, practice patience. Communicate. It’s okay to spend an hour together just saying you miss each other. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay, to not be okay. Because you will be. And when you’re on the other side, you’ll be able to look back and see just how strong and capable you are. (And yes, that’s me talking to myself as much as you, my reader friend.

When you struggle to reach the top of the mountain, and you’re *so close* but not there yet, don’t forget how far you’ve already come. It matters. You matter.



“I think I wanna put out an ad for you to service some cock on the way home from your appointment.”

This is how I began my day, with wet panties from a lot of orgasms this morning, and a whole lot of anticipation.

My mind whirled in a thousand different directions. Was I ready to do something sexual with someone other than Z? Would I worry too much about His reactions to enjoy myself?

We negotiated the terms again. You see, this isn’t the first time we’ve discussed something like this. But we fine tuned our limits and expectations, and agreed that I could decide at any time not to do it if there was no vibe or if I felt uncomfortable.

The ad told of a traveling tall bbw looking to give head on her way home. The ad was flagged over and over and over, and I really didn’t think it was going to happen today. (Was that relief, or disappointment?)

I’m in the room waiting for my post op appointment, and I get a text from Z that the ad finally went live. I didn’t have time to dwell on this until after the appointment.

“Your ad is popular, slut.”

I had already been wet… and now? Pffft. My leggings were damp from my panties being soaked. (See, we tease each other a lot. And now that we found that work around, we tease more than ever.)

He sends me several dick pics and over the next half hour, He chooses one, and sends me necessary info. I nibble at my sushi lunch because the last thing I want is to throw up on this guy if he fucks my face enough. (Spoiler: happened anyway and he handled it like a champ!)

Finally, it’s time. I’m on my way. Z and I talked again, and I made my way to this guy I was about to meet for a blowjob. Now, this isn’t my first rodeo. It was for Z in His position, but that’s a post for Him to write.

Without incident, I got to his house. We exchanged greetings. The first thing that blew me away was that he immediately asked about any limits he needed to know about. (In my time on Craigslist, I know that is a rare thing).

So pleasantries aside, I dropped to my knees. He took out his dick and I set out to destroy the makeup I just applied. Oh, and enjoy a big, beautiful, black cock.

Some of you may know this, but before Z, I hadn’t been with a man for over 5 years. And the only cock I’ve had in the past year, was Z. I was timid at first, but quickly fell into my place at this guy’s feet, sucking, stroking, and face fucking myself on his dick.

He tasted good. He smelled good. He felt good in my mouth. He was also gentle at first, and slowly amped up his intensity. He told me to get on the bed, and I didn’t hesitate to get up and hang my head over the edge.

Yeahhhh, I’m a presumptuous little slut. Whatcha gonna do?

I was sweaty, had drool in my hair, running makeup, and when he shot his load in my mouth, I felt like a porn star. I was Z’s little whore.

It. Was. Fucking. Awesome.

The best part, y’all? The lust in Z’s eyes when He walked into our bedroom and looked at me. He crawled into the bed and kissed the hell out of me. Both of us breathless, He told me I was a filthy whore with a face that smelled like cock. He dropped His shorts, and I went to work on my second cock of the day like a good little whore.

Muirnah Writes Erotica: The Swim

She was already floating on her back, soaking up the sunshine of the hot August day. Her light purple bathing suit was slightly darker in the water. As I walked through the grass, I tried to control my excitement at the view of her slender body in the water. Her short blonde hair was scattered over her forehead, her arms moving in the water as if she were flying. The halter top of her bathing suit was loosely tied around her neck, and I could see the water easily flowing between the triangle material and her round breasts. Her stomach rose and fell with every breath she took, and her smooth legs slowly scissored to keep her afloat. She didn’t open her eyes when I opened the gate, but she smiled, acknowledging my presence.

I dove into the crisp water of my pool and swam towards her. I slid my arms under her legs and her back, and pulled her closer to my body. “Baby, you look beautiful,” I whispered.

She opened her eyes slowly, squinting in the sunlight. She smiled at me shaking her head, and lifted her head to kiss me. I lowered my lips to hers, taking in the smell of the chlorine and her sun tan lotion. I felt my stomach flip and warmth grow between my legs as her tongue slipped effortlessly between my lips. I tasted her mouth, sweet from the wine propped up in the cooler nearby.

I opened my eyes as the kiss ended, and stared into her eyes sparkling in the sun, with residual mascara intensifying the stare she gave me. “I’m so glad you’re home,” she said as she rolled away from me.

“Me too,” I said with a breath as I pushed off to swim to the far end of the pool. “Work was so busy I thought my feet were going to fall off.”

She looked over at me with a sympathetic smile and said, “Well, vacation starts now, so relax yourself.” I grinned as I remembered that I didn’t have to be at work for another 10 days.

I slipped under the water and began swimming a few laps to stretch my muscles that had been over worked that day. She lifted herself into a raft and closed her eyes. I glanced at her body when I passed, noticing the breeze had hardened her nipples despite the warmth of the air. The warmth between my legs was intensifying, and even though my body was wet in the pool, I could feel this distinct wetness flowing with ease.

I could talk to her about anything. I could talk to her about nothing. I could stare at her for hours, not say a word, and still communicate. And yet, in the most casual of situations, her breath against my ear during a movie, her hair brushing my neck during a nap, the slightest peak at a nipple in the pool… these things created a flood of passion and a throbbing between my legs that I couldn’t control.

She looked so peaceful with her eyes closed. She was smiling slightly. I wondered what she might have been day dreaming about as I made my way to the side of the pool. I propped my arms on the warm tiles and rested my head on my arms. My body floated effortlessly in the water, and I let my mind clear in the happiness of being with her for the next 10 days with no work or responsibility. I closed my eyes and let the sounds of the birds drift in as I dozed off.

I woke up to her hands rising slowly up my back, untying the back of my rainbowed animal print swimsuit. She worked her way up to the tie around my neck and I felt her mouth on my shoulders as her hands released the material from my breasts. Her hands slid down my sides and up over my arms. The chill of the water over my warm skin sent a chill over me and I felt my nipples harden. Her breasts pressed into my back, and I felt that her nipples were hard as well. I tilted my head, silently begging her mouth to the curve just above my shoulder. She obliged, and I felt her teeth graze my skin in a gentle bite.

I took a sharp breath in as her lips made their way up my neck, behind my ear, and pausing to suck softly on my ear lobe. I let my body relax against her as she tightened her left arm around my chest. My nipples were on high alert as her skin slid over them. Her right arm caressed my stomach and hips as she kissed & sucked softly on my shoulders and neck. She pressed her body harder to mine. I could feel her heart beat increasing with mine. Her hand slid over the front of my thighs and my clit throbbed as she moved closer to it.

She successfully touched every inch of my body before I felt her hand slide into the skort that was the bottom piece of my bathing suit. I felt her finger between the lips of my pussy, and I heard her sigh with satisfaction at how wet she made me. “I want you.” She whispered against my ear and I felt another chill. Her fingers circled my clit but did not touch it. My body ached for her to touch my clit, to feel the pressure of her fingers bringing me to an incredible orgasm. She took her time though. Her fingers occasionally touched the metal barbell that was pierced through my clitoral hood. When I felt the metal press into my clit I thought I would orgasm right then and there.

“I want to taste you. I want to see your beautiful face while I lick your clit.” Her words were like fire.

I spun around and pressed my lips to hers with a force of passion. She responded likewise, and her tongue swirled around mine. She pushed my skort over my hips in one swift motion, pressing her thigh in between my legs. My hands roamed her back untying the strings around her neck, and unclasping the hook around her back. I pushed the bathing suit away, and took both of her breasts into my hands, massaging them softly, and flicking both her nipples. She leaned her head back with a soft sigh.

I took advantage of her distraction and began kissing her shoulders, up to her ears, finally returning to her lips. Her hands made their way through my tangled hair and I couldn’t suppress the moan of pleasure that made its way up my throat. She smiled at me and pulled me towards the steps of the pool. We embraced again, our breasts touching, gently massaging one another as we moved together.

She gently guided me to the steps and sat me on the top step. My legs and hips still covered by the water, she crawled up the steps between them to kiss my lips. Her mouth trailed slowly, and I felt her tongue against the skin of my neck, chest, and then around my nipple. Her hand squeezed as her tongue flickered and circled my right nipple, and then my left. Her mouth massaged my skin as she kissed slower, lingering longer in each place, moving down my stomach to my belly button. She looked up at me with fire in her eyes as she pushed my knees further apart. I pulled myself out of the water, and she moved up another step.

Her hands explored my thighs, spreading my pink lips to her liking. I let out a sigh as I relaxed back onto my elbows at the same time her tongue flicked my clit. My hips pushed against her and I gasped. She slowly licked up one side of my wet pussy, and down the other. I could feel her breath, hot and heavy, and I wanted her mouth on my clit more than anything.

She took her time making her way back to my clit, and began to lick soft circles around the throbbing pulse of my body. My breathing was shallow and fast, and her tongue moved in rhythm with every breath I took. My moans became louder and uncontrollable as she pushed a finger inside me. I moved in motion with her hand as her finger gently massaged inside me. Her tongue still circled my clit firmly, occasionally flickering in a different direction.

I lay back all the way, pushing my hips closer to her mouth. My fingers made their way through her short hair, urging her closer to me. I was moaning louder now; short breathy gasps of pleasure told her I was close to the peak of passion she was pushing me towards. My pelvic muscles clenched at her finger as waves of pleasure erupted throughout my body. Fluid released into her hand and I squealed in pleasure. Her tongue flicked my clit with increased intensity, and another orgasm pulsed through my body.

She slowly moved her hands up my body, massaging my skin on the way. I shook uncontrollably as the nerves in my body fired again and again. As my body grew still, she leaned down over me. Our hands intertwined, and she softly kissed my lips.

I smiled up at her, unable to speak, but telling her with my eyes that I was amazed. She pulled me to a sitting position, gently rubbing my back where I’d been on the concrete. I kissed her cheek, and sighed softly in her ear, resting my head on her shoulder.

“Satisfied?” She asked me, still caressing my skin.

“Not until you are,” I said, sliding my hand between her legs. She flinched and gasped. I pulled her closer, hugging her with every ounce of energy I could muster. “Come shower with me,” I said softly.

She grinned at me, and stood up, pulling me with her. We walked hand in hand through the grass, me completely naked, and her just in her bathing suit bottoms, leaving the remnants of our passionate swim in the pool for later retrieval.

Muirnah Writes Erotica: The Bus

I was taking the bus home after working a long shift. I saw her walk up the steps, dressed in a short jean skirt and a white tank top that left nothing to the imagination as it was pouring outside. Her heels clicked on the hard floor as she walked towards me.

I shook off a chill, thinking to myself that she must be freezing. She flashed a bright smile that would make a dentist horny. Hmm. Come to think of it, I was horny myself. She sat across from me, and exhaled a deep sigh. She smelled like shampoo.

Water splashed on my scrub pants as she wrung out her long brown hair. “I’m so sorry,” she said in a breathy voice.

“No problem,” I smiled, allowing myself to feel the coolness on my legs.

She was quiet for a moment, and stood up to adjust her jean skirt. I wondered if she was adjusting because she saw that I stole a glance between her legs. Her underwear was navy blue and lace, allowing a few strands of brown hair to show through.

The bus screeched with slamming brakes, and her two inch heeled sandals slid in the grooves of the floor. My instincts took over and I grabbed her hips, roughly pulling her towards me to save her from the fall. Her arms flailed for a moment, her hands catching themselves in my knotty blond hair. When the bus came to a complete stop, she steadied herself with her right hand on my shoulder. The bus driver shouted back something that sounded like “sorry” followed by a mumble cursing the miles of red brake lights ahead.

“What’s going on?” she asked, waving towards the traffic.

She must not be from around here, I realized. “They’ve been doing construction on this road for months now,” I said. “And there’s only one lane opened.”

She looked at me thoughtfully. “Traffic around here is horrendous day or night,” I explained. That’d been the exact reason I stopped driving to and from work. I’d been rear-ended three times in the month since I moved here, and the public transportation wasn’t too bad.

“Oh,” she sighed. “So how long does it take to get through here?” “Not too long. The lights change pretty quickly, although the rain might extend it a bit.”

She nodded, and took a step back. That’s when I realized I was still holding her hips. I released my grip, and she slid into the seat next to me. The smell of her shampoo intoxicated me, and I imagined what her skin might taste like if she smelled that great.

“I’m new around here,” she confirmed what I had guessed.

I smiled, “I kind of figured.” She smiled back.

“Thanks for catching me,” she said softly as she put her hand on my leg.

I tingled, and hoped she didn’t notice the goose bumps spreading down my bare arms. “Oh, it’s fine. I mean, you’re welcome.”

She smiled a bigger smile this time. She propped her left ankle on my lap, and began undoing the buckle on her shoes. I watched her, hypnotized by the movement of her manicured fingers, efficiently sliding the strap off her ankle. My eyes wandered further up her tan leg, thinking about what was between them, just a short distance upwards.

“Do you want to see?” she asked me. I mentally shook myself, and realized I was blushing.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…” My voice trailed off as she put her finger on my lips, and my hand on her thigh.

“Shhh. I want you to…”

Fuck me, I thought silently in my head, hoping I was finishing her sentence.

My hand slid slowly up her smooth, freshly shaven legs as she slid herself down the row of empty seats to stretch out. My hands felt every inch of her thighs, stopping when I reached the hem of her skirt, just two inches below her lace blue panties. I hadn’t realized she lay down, until she picked her head up and nodded for me to continue. I was completely finished listening to my overbearing brain, and the tingle between my legs took over.

I reached up to touch the lace, catching a glimpse of her smile as I did so. I shouldn’t have been surprised to find them wet, considering she’d walked on the bus drenched, but this was a warm and silky wetness.

I bit my lip and rubbed gently where I felt her clit grow with excitement. ”Mmmm,” she moaned quietly, but loud enough that I heard it. That was all the encouragement I needed. My right hand moved to her hips, and under her thin tank top, feeling her soft skin warming up to my touch. I reached further, circling her erect nipples through her bra with my fingertip. She propped herself up on her elbows long enough to unhook her bra and my hand slid under it. Her breast fit comfortably in my hand, and I gently squeezed as my left hand found its way to her other breast.

She sat up and pulled up the front of her tank top, giving my tongue a chance to see just how good her skin tasted. Her nipples hardened under my tongue, and my hands circled her back, pulling her toward me as I gently grazed her nipple with my teeth. She sucked in a deep breath, pressing her chest closer to my mouth.

She really did taste wonderful, and I could only imagine how the wetness between her legs would taste. She ran her fingers through a knot in my hair, and the tug on my scalp made the tingle between my legs turn into a flood. When I gave her nipple a gentle flick with my tongue, she slid her finger into my mouth. Oh my god… And I knew that I could never have imagined how sweet she tasted.

She pushed her lace panties down over her knees in one movement that I hadn’t even known she started. She knew what she wanted, that was for sure, and I was not complaining a bit. She knelt over my lap, and her spread legs released a scent that I wanted to devour. I bent my head and stretched my tongue as far into the crease between her legs as I could, and it wasn’t far enough. I slid down in my seat to push myself closer to her, and her hands found their way through my hair, pushing my mouth closer to her swelling clit. I moved my tongue furiously, first in circles, then up and down, then side to side, pushing my tongue as far into her pussy as I could. I slowed down as I slid one finger inside her wet pussy.

She approved with a gasp and a louder moan that neither of us cared if anyone heard. I pushed another finger in and her hips began to grind on my hand. My mouth found its way back up to her stomach, and then to each nipple. I moved my fingers in motion with her hips, and I felt her g-spot swell. Her moaning got louder, and I began to rub her clit with my free hand. She pulled my hair with a gasp as her pussy clenched my fingers in ecstasy.

I felt a flood of warmth over my hand and into my lap as she collapsed against me. She was breathing heavy in my ear, and I couldn’t have moved if I wanted to. And trust me, I didn’t. I slid my fingers down her leg, and adjusted her tank top as I quickly realized this event wasn’t exactly private. She slid off my lap, re-hooked her bra and plopped a kiss on my lips as she sat down next to me. We sat in silence for a few minutes catching our breath.

“This is my stop,” she said with a smile. She pulled a business card out of her pocket, wrapped it in her navy blue panties, and slid her hand between my legs. I flinched as her fingers grazed my clit, swollen and wet with excitement. She left her panties there, between my legs as she stood up and walked towards the opening bus doors. She gave me a wink as she walked down the steps back into the rain. I couldn’t move to grab her panties that she’d shoved between my legs for another five minutes.

By that time I’d reached my stop. I slid her panties in my scrub pockets and stood up to gather my belongings. I gave a sigh as I turned towards the front of the bus to make my exit.

“I hope tomorrow’s shift is this exciting,” Bernie the driver said to me with a smile. I blushed, replaying the last half hour in my mind, realizing Bernie had gotten quite a show.

“Who knows, B, I’m off for the next two days,” I grinned. I gave a wave goodbye as I stepped into the rain, grateful that it would camouflage the wetness that was on my clothes while I walked the two blocks to my apartment. I couldn’t wait to get my hands on myself, and the bus shelter up ahead was empty…


I had so much fun last night. It was so awesome to get out and just be near friends.

Since it was a vanilla outing, we dropped the verbal and outward (obvious) dynamic stuff. But it didn’t change anything – it was still there.

Every time Sir touched me, or whispered in my ear, my body hummed with energy. And when we locked eyes, the room disappeared. It’s intense with Him. Everything is intense.

One thing Sir did say was that I should keep my walking position. I failed at that pretty badly. 😕

You see, I’m a big girl. I’m 6’3”. And in bars, I’m used to forging a path between drunk people and everyone else I’m with following in my wake.

Imagine my *gasp* when I got to our table and saw Sir standing at the door smirking at me for leaving Him there. But it was done…

(Several minutes after the first time I left him at the door)

Him: I am glad to see you out and smiling and laughing.

me: thank you, Sir. I’m sorry for not waiting for you.

Him: Is it worth the spanking you’re gonna get later?

me: *nods enthusiastically*


I wish I could put into beautiful words the way it feels when he looks at me or touches me in public. I stand out in a crowd, but mostly for the wow factor. But when He looks at me, I know He sees ME. And that’s intoxicating.


Later at home, after me spending some time enjoying His cock in my mouth, Sir caned me with a steel rod for my lack of manners. Then He fucked my mouth, my pussy, and my ass.

He’s so far in my mind and body, that sometimes all it takes is a little physical stimulation and His voice in my ear saying “Fucking cum, you little slut,” before I’m cumming like crazy. (I look forward to seeing how far this connection can go – will He eventually be able to say it without touching me, and still make me cum? I hope so.)

We have an infinite world of kink and connection to explore. And I’m not rushing through or missing any part of this.

This… This is living. This is being seen, desired, and fulfilled.