It started out with a kiss…

He held her throat as He kissed her. Not really kissing even, He was blatantly making out with her face. He controlled everything. He held her lips between His teeth and His hand was wrapped around her throat. She sank into His grip, unable to maintain the strength needed to remain upright.

“Whose filthy little whore are you?” He relaxed His grip on her throat only enough for her to speak.

She gasped in a breath, her voice coming out in a whisper. “I’m Your filthy little whore.”

“Yes, you are.” He said, a smile in His voice.

She jerked her head to look down. His cock was the longest and hardest she’d ever seen it. She licked her lips.

“You wanna suck it before you go to sleep? Yes, you do,” He crooned.

She nodded sleepily, eyes heavy but hot with desire, and moved to take Him in her mouth.

He held her head up by her throat and looked into her eyes. Then He spit on her face and growled, “You filthy little whore.”

He didn’t wait before pushing her head down to His cock. She opened her mouth and moaned at the taste of Him on her tongue. But the rest of her mouth was dry and she couldn’t make enough spit. Desperate, she shoved herself down on His cock.

“Yes,” He hissed, “That’s a good girl.”

He held still, allowing His cock to fill her mouth and throat. She finally gagged. She lifted her head and spit on His cock. She felt His surprise and His arousal intensify.

“Yes,” He groaned. He tightened His fist in her hair, and used her face to jack His cock. She relaxed her neck and allowed Him to control the speed and depth. Seconds passed by as she fully surrendered to Him, while simultaneously feeling the most powerful energy she’d ever experienced.

He moved her head faster, and as she tightened her lips around His cock, she felt the first pulses of His orgasm. She mewled her appreciation as He released her hair and relaxed His body, sinking back into the chair.

“Holy fuck,” He finally said, panting still. “I haven’t cum that fast from jacking myself off. That was the hottest, sexiest, nastiest blow job I’ve ever had.”

She couldn’t stop smiling. What greater compliment could a filthy little whore ask for?

Sub Drop #2

No matter how excellent your communication skills are, sometimes you have miscommunications. And sometimes mistakes happen. One thing that is paramount to me as a submissive and as a bottom, is remembering that the Top/D-type is human.

Here’s an example…

Me: please, Sir, may I cum?!

Him: yes

Me:*super long orgasm*

Me: thank you, Sir


Him: I think you forgot a thank you in there.

Me: no, Sir. One long orgasm.

Him: oh baby! I’m sorry.


Him: just cuz you like it.

Me: *cums again*

So He slapped me for something I didn’t do. And He immediately apologized. But in that *pause* we shared a moment. We had a whole conversation without words.

It was okay. I knew it was an honest mistake. They happen! They happen even with the best communication and the best connections. Z and I read each other extremely well. 98% of the time.

We live this 24/7. So mistakes/miscommunications happen. But we deal with them immediately and keep on fucking. Literally.

Keep an open mind. Remember you and your partner make mistakes sometimes and this lifestyle is never without risk.

SubDrop #1

I confessed a fantasy to Z last night via text. It went something like this…

me: Daddy… I must confess the idea of you peeing on me… keeps popping into my mind… and I feel like such a dirty whore for it…

Z: It’s very degrading, but you *are* Daddy’s filthy little whore

me: *drooling emoji*

Z: Yeah.. that’s my dirty little girl

Now, I have never been a fan of the “golden shower”. But I did a lot of reflection before we did our contract. I couldn’t come up with any other reason that I didn’t like it, besides “ick”. So I marked it as a soft limit.

A few weeks ago, He threatened me with it while verbally degrading me. I was so turned on it and caught me by surprise. So I started thinking, if I can shower after… maybe.

The point of sharing this inner monologue with you is to remind you that you can always re-evaluate your limits. And don’t be shy about sharing it with your partner.

I cannot emphasize enough the importance of communication and a willingness to listen. Don’t be judgmental when listening to your partner’s thoughts either. Always keep an open mind and remember negotiations go both ways.

So Z and I will hopefully talk more about it this weekend. What limits have you reconsidered?

The Sadistic Burger: D/s Misfire

Sometimes, things in D/s don’t always go as planned. D-types and s-types are still human. Regardless of our kinks or side of the slash, we should be mindful of how we react and perceive things.

The following was an average weeknight…

Dinner was ready. One burger for each of us, to start. Then cook the second round.

I pulled out two buns, one for my plate, and one for His. He walked to my side, and I was fully aware of what was coming.

“Do you want your two burgers now?” I asked already begrudgingly.

“Yes.” He replied.

I sighed, moved both buns to His plate, and turned to walk out of the kitchen.

“Where are you going?” He asked holding out the plate.

I looked at Him. My face hot with humiliation, tears only held at bay by biting my cheek as I fixed His burgers.

Part of my brain was like, “no way man… that was too far.”

But the other part of my brain? Hah. I was getting off on my own humiliation and His power and cursing Him for it too.

He kissed me. Fingering my collar as He walked away.

Master first, in all things.

The way He had held and fingered the ring on my collar told me that He was simply reminding me of my role.

That could be the end of the story. It could have been the beginning of the end. I could have gone about my evening, over it, but also having filed it away as a mind fuck scene, and used our general affection as my aftercare & later harbored some resentment. But instead, I shared my perspective with Him. I told Him what I perceived, and how the scene affected me.

He read my blog draft.

“You should know, the only reason I took both my burgers first is because you said something. And you getting pissy about it is why you had to make my plate.”

My world spun.


I… made myself feel humiliated? How does that work?

1. How did He reprimand me for being pissy and I was clueless about it?

2. How and why did I create this elaborate “scene”?

From His perspective… He knew He could take both burgers. But He knew I needed the calories and wanted me to eat. At the same time, when I dangled it in front of Him, how could He turn it away?

When I huffed and then tried to walk away, I’d been insubordinate. That is a no-no in our dynamic, so He acted accordingly.

What followed was a long and intense recap of the way we both perceived that event.

I thought He was just being sadistic and a little bit of a jerk. (He wasn’t.)

He thought I was giving Him an attitude. (I was).

That is how I ended up being reprimanded, and not knowing it. It took several hours of off and on discussion before we figured out the hows and whys of that miscommunication and why I felt the need to create that scene for myself.

D/s relationships can be perceived abusive or unhealthy by people outside the kink world for good reason. Their perception is still valid even if it’s not the truth of the dynamic they are witnessing. Remember, they don’t see the constant communication that living this dynamic requires. Mostly because it is deeply intimate. But all the same, their perception is valid for them.

The same goes for your partner. I highly encourage conversation about your scenes with your partner. Preferably, as soon as possible afterwards. First, because you get to hear them say things like, “when you did that thing with your tongue, it drove me wild!” Who wouldn’t wanna hear that kind of praise?

But second, you can ask questions like, “what did you think and feel when I did this?” And this is where things can be difficult. During your discussions, focus your responses around “I statements”. But be honest and tell them how things felt, good or bad. Tell them how it felt mentally. Tell them about the knot in your chest. Tell them about the butterflies in your belly.

If the both of you can communicate on this level, and take the commentary for what it is (Discussion! Not criticizing!) you have the chance of a lifetime to grow and learn more about each other and your relationship. Communication is sexy!

Silence in Servitude

Master and I have a unique dynamic. We’ve done our negotiations. (yes, we actually sat and shared lists!) We have a contract book listing soft and hard limits, but very few protocols even though we live this 24/7 and live together.

We have routines & rituals (my duties of making coffee/lunch, setting out His clothes, washing His back every shower, just to name a few) but the one thing we’ve always said was that we will do and appreciate these things as if it were the first time, and be present. And we both do a pretty good job of this. It helps keep us connected when life is throwing lemons or whatever.

Well, life is throwing all sorts of citrus. And I had a terrible day. I cried to Him. He held me and whispered in my ear.

“Shhhh, baby. I know just what to do. I’m going to have you serve me, high protocol. You won’t be able to think about anything else.”

A few months ago, I would have panicked because I don’t know all high protocol things. Not this time. I relaxed into Him, trusting Him to teach and guide me.

When the time came, I knelt in the only pose I know. He entered the room, and I heard Him smile.

“Good girl.”

He sat in His chair directly in front of me. He took off my day collar, and whispered, “go put this on your nightstand.”

When I returned to my pose, He put my slave collar and cuffs on me. I closed my eyes and internally recited my mantra. I am His. I am worthy. When finished, I rose to kiss Him. He held me and caressed me. I felt whole and utterly adored and loved.

I knelt again as He began speaking. He praised me and outlined His expectations of me. I wasn’t nervous, as I expected to be. Instead I was calm and focused.

“You will keep your eyes lowered, and your head beneath mine at all times. You will not speak unless spoken to, but you will respond to every command given to you. You will never turn your back to me; you will back out of the room or away from me with your head bowed. You will present anything to me on your knees, head bowed, object higher than your head. You will resume kneeling once your task is completed.”

I listened intently, noting everything He asked. Then He gave me a task. Pour Him a drink. The decanter is positioned in an area where I would have to be cautious of my head height compared to His sitting down & take care to not turn my back. But it was wonderful.

I focused entirely on my position in relation to Him and what I was doing for Him. I crawled back to Him, offering the glass on my open palms. He lifted my hands a little higher before lifting the glass. I didn’t move.

This earned me a “good girl” and I was beaming inside. He placed the glass back on my hands. I waited. He took the glass again and I returned to my pose.

I have no idea how long He let me kneel, but it was one of the most peaceful moments of my life. The only thoughts I had were of my discomfort, quickly squashed by my desire to please Him.

As usual, He knows when my body is beginning to struggle. “On all fours, in front of me. I need a foot stool.”

I was absolutely elated. First because my back and knees wanted a break, but because this is something I’ve asked for. And it was every bit as decadent as I imagined it would be. Again my only focus was Him, and maintaining my position.

It grew difficult after a while. I know this had been meant to tax me physically but in a different way than our usual play. Successful, I remember thinking.

After He lifted His feet, He helped me up. At this point I was physically tired and my brain so quiet it felt like someone pressed a mute button. As we snuggled close, vaping and sharing our thoughts on the scene, I felt infinitely calmer but so connected to Him.

We’ve determined that while it is taxing for both of us, we will definitely be revisiting high protocol.


She knew this wasn’t a serious punishment. But it still felt like one.

“In the chair,” He said, indicating the usual spot for such things. He stepped outside and closed the door.

After pulling her leggings down to her knees, she knelt on the cushion, facing the back of the chair. She breathed and waited. When the door opened, she arched her back just a little more.

“Good girl,” He cooed. She wiggled her hips and beamed with pride.

He caressed her ass, softly but with purpose. “I’m going to make this fun for me. I think you’ve been bratty enough to warrant it.”

Fun for Him meant sadistic play. She inhaled sharply. “Yes, Sir.”

He turned the music up, and began to slap her ass. His fingers pressed in with each thwack. It didn’t take long for her to begin to scream and cry out. He paused, and changed the position of His hand. Now it was a full hand smack. She screamed.

He growled as He shoved His hand through her wet lips, just brushing her clit. Her hips pressed back into the not-so-gentle touch, and He pulled back. The smacks on her ass continued. Her screams escalated. He could sense the need for a change, and again shoved His hand toward her clit again, this time giving her a more direct stroke. Her cries turned to mewls of desire.

He returned to smacking her ass, and then threw a punch. Compared to the sensation of a stinging slap, the blunt force was heaven. It was almost like a reset button. Another punch landed on the other cheek before the slaps returned. The pain was excruciating for half a second before dropping to a pleasurable point. He knew how to take her to the edge and keep her there.

As she was reaching her limit, she felt His cock rubbing her pussy. She must have drifted off again because she hadn’t been aware of Him pulling down His pants. Immediately her hips met His rhythm. Pleasure consumed her and tingles spread from her spine down her arms and to the calloused tips of her nipples.

He pulled out, and the smacks on her ass continued. She gasped at the loss of fullness. When she felt Him move behind her again, her pussy gushed in anticipation. When He positioned his cock at her ass, she stiffened and moaned but did her best to relax. Each thrust of His hips felt like a sharp stab followed by a soothing stroke. Within seconds, her pussy was throbbing and an orgasm barrelling toward her like a speeding car.

“Daddy, please!” she screamed.

“No!” He pulled out of her ass and stepped back.

Sensation flooded her as the pending orgasm dissipated. “God dammit!” she huffed.

His hand grabbed a fistful of her hair. “What was that?” There was an edge to His voice that put her in fight-or-flight mode. She took a deep breath, grounding herself in the tugging sensation at the nape of her neck.

“Sorry, Sir,” she breathed.

“Good girl.” He slapped her face softly.

Without warning, His cock was pushing into her ass and the orgasm began to build again. She knew He wasn’t going to let her cum so she focused her mind on the rhythm of His strokes and let the sensations flow through her entire body. Really, she realized, He was doing her a favor when He denied her orgasm. But soon enough she was screaming for release. Again and again He denied her. It was only a matter of time before her body would take over.

He thrust in deep and held himself there and she felt His cock spasm with the first wave of His orgasm. That did it. She shuddered and moaned, cumming with Him. His hands smoothed over her ass and hips, skimming up her back as they both caught their breath.

“I’m sorry, Sir,” she said weakly. “I couldn’t help it.”

He chuckled and kissed her shoulder. “My good girl.”

*true story.



Rituals and Sanity

I’m here! I’m still writing, but I have been so busy I haven’t had time to make it a pretty post. In short: holiday prep, ex wife moving out, work, car accident, and more work…

With all that craziness in mind, I want to share something that’s kept me sane. Rituals in our D/s dynamic.

I am to walk in heel at all times if we are walking together. That is, a step to the side and behind. I forget this more than I care to admit, and have earned bruises once or twice for it.

This is something that’s difficult for me because I’m used to leading short people through crowds, or just walking ahead in general. But it reminds me of my place with Him, when I defer to Him physically too.

Shower Time. When Sir takes His shower, I sit on the bench in the bathroom. I feel close to Him just being in the same room. When He’s done with His washing, He calls “here kitty kitty.” Then I wash and rub His back.

This is something I thought would annoy me after a while. Honestly, I wasn’t sure how I would fare in the realm of servitude. The concept has always intrigued me. But I knew it would depend on the person. But here I am, 4 months in… a few minor details away from our future Master/slave contract, me moving in this month, and I still love washing his back.

I also dry Him off and put moisturizer on His tattoos (in a specific order). Those two things are more special than the back washing. Drying Him off lets me touch every part of Him, every day. When’s the last time you touched every inch of your partner? The tattoos are the same. We both appreciate some good ink, so skin care is important. But I can’t quite describe the intimacy of it. It’s breathtaking.

And during these rituals, He’s paying complete attention to me too. He watches me, He touches me, and He talks to me. Sometimes it’s every day talk. Sometimes it’s deep. Sometimes it’s romantic. But it’s always appreciative of the moment we’re sharing. And if we get off topic in a bad way, someone notices & brings it back to the moment.

And the super cool thing? On the occasion I shower after Him, (rare because I usually shower in the morning) He washes my back, dries me off, and puts moisturizer on my tattoos. It’s so intimate, it’s so tender, and it’s incredibly sweet. Breathtaking.

Routine and rituals are comforting and they bring people closer together. I cherish those moments because I know no matter what happened that day (and there’s been plenty going on!) my Sir will be there, and except in extreme situations, our rituals will always be there. They’re a part of our every day and we make them a high priority. It’s a daily connection, and it’s priceless.

Be well.